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What IS stupid is how much they've damaged your ability to trust someone as obviously trustworthy as Mark. Your statement that you shouldn't be his girlfriend is silly and unnecessary. Mark thinks you should be his girlfriend. He easily knows you well enough to judge that. I trust his judgment, so I have no doubt that he's right. If you think you shouldn't be his girlfriend, then you're disagreeing with Mark, which is now the fourth example of your not trusting his judgment. Almost every time you open your mouth you prove how untrusting you are. It's frightening, isn't it?" {Sob}." This entire conversation would've been unnecessary if you truly did trust Mark, but it has been a very worthwhile conversation, because it's given you a very clear picture of how suspicious and untrusting you are. I know that intellectually you understand that you can trust Mark totally, but it hasn't sunk in deep enough yet, so your emotional reactions are very unfair. You've started the process, but. I suspected that he was using escort services when I reviewed our credit card bills. I knew that he had an expense account to cover the cost of entertaining clients. Still I saw charges for 5 to 6 hundred dollars every month. The firms named sounded innocuous, catering mostly. I guess you might think I would have gotten angry, but that was not the case. I was hurt somewhat. Mostly because he hadn't confided his need to me. Eventually I bought a nice new lap top for him to use while he was out of town, but I had the shop put in a few features that I didn't tell him about Mostly I could turn on the camera with a command from our home office computer, without turning on the screen. I told him I wanted to Skype with him every night before he went to bed when he was out of town. Not a big adjustment, he was already calling me about that time anyway. I wanted to see what he was getting that he couldn't ask me for. Initially I was disappointed, We talked, he logged off then I watched him.
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